December is right around the corner, and you know what that means! Recital time! Now, most students are not used to performing live, since they have been submitting virtual recordings, etc, for the past few years! With our Holiday Recital coming up, some children are sure to have some performance anxiety which is also known as stage fright.
If your child is feeling performance anxiety, you will see the signs in one or many different forms. They may want to stop going to lessons, feel "sick" all of a sudden, or simply begin avoiding the situation all together. Rather than pulling your child out of lessons or allowing them to not participate in performing, it is best to figure out what is causing their anxiety and address it. Allowing your child to miss out on performances will only further their stage fright.
Here are 4 ways to curb those butterflies. Performing is meant to be fun and with a few strategies we can kiss that stage fright goodbye!
1. Listen Linda, Listen!
It is important to listen to and acknowledge what your child is feeling. A conversation with them can go a long way. Their outside world will inform the way they think about their talents and capabilities. They are constantly recieving information and sometimes things they hear or experiences they have had are not positive ones. This can shape their thoughts about performing in front of an audience. Hear them out and be there to support them.
2. Practice! Practice! Practice!
Have you ever heard the saying…practice makes perfect? Although I am not a believer in perfection, I do believe you will perform the way you practice! Practicing will allow your child to feel confident in their abilities and give them the confidence they need to know their music is well prepared and performance ready.
3. Perform whenever possible!
When I was a young girl I loved to sing. But I did have horrible stage fright and would often shy away from singing in front of strangers. I remember my aunt drove me down to Beverly Hills and would stop random people and say “you have to hear my niece sing!” Which would then be proceeded with me singing for a complete stranger on the street! This curbed my stage fright quickly (yes, pun intended). While Im not suggesting you do this to your child, I am suggesting to get them out and performing. Whether it be at the dinner table or while you’re watching tv….or performing in front of their stuffed animals. Creating a positive perfmormance environment will give your child the confidence they need to know performing is safe and fun!
4. Mantras, Good Vibes, and Self-Awareness
Create a mantra with your child. This is something they can say to themselves before steeping onto the stage. This could be as simple as “I am talented and the world needs to hear me.” Come up with your own! Also, often the feelings associated with performance anxiety are the same as being excited. Have your child remind themselves that they are EXCITED. Make the negative a positve! Another great exercise you can do with your child is journal it out. Allow them to express their feelings through writing (or drawing a picture). With self-awareness any child can overcome the fear of performing in front of people!
5. Focus on the Journey
NOT the destination. So much of performance is the process of choosing the music, learning, interpretting, and finally sharing it with the world. One thing that helps me see my progress is to journal out my practicing and just write about what I worked on and areas that I need to go over. I’ll write about if anything felt unusual or if something felt great. So much of the process is about learning about themselves, but we often forget about that! Have your child journal out their feelings. If they are comfortable, then go over their journaling and acknowledge their feelings. Listen and support them. It will make the destination so much more enjoyable.